HOA! HOA! HOA!

Young me (artist's conception)

I hope I don't bore you with tales of my bucolic upbringing, and how I could dart off, clad in Jack Purcells tennis shoes, cut off jeans and a Howdy Doody T-shirt and play for hours on end in the streets and streams and woods and abandoned tenant farmer houses that dotted our area back in the day. Every kid's mom had a dinner bell, and when we heard our special clangs, it was time to drop whatever we were involved in, be it frog-catchin', dam-buildin' or girl-tormentin'.  We'd race home, wash off a layer or two of good land dirt, and chow down, only to race back out until the fireflies came out.

I know, it almost sounds like Huckleberry Finn without the raft, but the point was to be outside.  Which is why it's so odd to see this story from Granite Bay, California, where the residents of the exclusive Hidden Lakes Estates community have received a letter from the Homeowners' Association asking that the kids in the development be discouraged from playing outside on the lawns or streets.

First off, you'd think these people would be busy enough finding the hidden lakes so people could go swimming or something, but no. The HOAs have decided to take one hand off their walkers so they can shake it wildly and shout, "All right, you doggone kids! Get off that street! And get off that lawn!"

What are they supposed to do, vaporize in thin air?

Jed Peters and his family moved in three months ago, and before they even figured out where to hang all those Thomas Kinkade prints, they were getting notes from Big Neighbor about those pesky kids, out there playin' 'n' all.

"Honestly we were a little put out, real upset to the fact we didn’t feel welcome in our neighborhood," Peters told CBS13 as he watched his three-year old riding his bike across the street. I looked this town up on the map, and it's near Bob's Quality Tires and Harris Industrial Gases, so there's that. I think that a child on a bike should not rankle the neighborhood all that much.

"We also got a handwritten note from our association manager that states, perhaps we should have the children play in the backyard or at the park," Mr Peters continued. 

And then you read more about it and you see that the Homeowners' Ass. considers children playing outside to be a violation. And when people put out rubber traffic cones to warn motorists of kids riding bikes, the Ass. threw the penalty flag on that as well.

Suzanne Peters, wife to Ben, says, "I think this neighborhood is wonderful, I think there’s maybe one bad apple that got a little cranky and didn’t want to see the kids out.”

A board member who wishes to remain unidentified said that the letter sent out was not worded properly. So, in an effort to help the matter wind up in the US Supreme Court, I offer this suggested revision:

1. Kids are supposed to play outside.
2. Let them.