The Saturday Picture Show, April 1, 2017

Hello! Time for our annual Parade of What's New! Science and technology and marketing have teamed up to bring us new and wonderful things, such as the new Hunter Open-Toed Fishing and Wading Boots, at better sporting goods outlets everywhere.

No man can resist making a Queen of the lady whose dainty aroma reminds him of Whoppers and Fries! Eau de King, on sale now.

It's the plaidness of wallpaper with the convenience of paint! A roller with cartridges will give your powder room or kitchen that tartan look you've been wanting ever since that Mel Gibson movie was on TV!

Today's busy man has no time to schedule separate appointments for tonsorial touch-ups and dental exams! So now Dr Ralph Yankum, DDS, has finished his course at the Barber College and will handle everything on your head except your eyes and ears! Call soon for an appointment. 

Consumers hate waste, and nothing fills up the trash can like a bulky pizza box.  Thanks to the good people over at Domino's, here is a pizza box made of pizza crust. Enjoy your pizza, then eat the box it came in! Free delivery, too!

You've just washed your hands, and don't want to come in contact with cooties from touching the crank on the paper towel dispenser.  Here's the answer: Voice activation! Don't forget to say, "please," thank you!

IKEA thoughtfully provides all the tools you need to assemble your
bokhyllor or dagbädd, but recently, a production error resulted in thousands of Allen wrenches, originally intended for use in Siberia, being distributed in the Western world instead. They are useless as is, but IKEA will gladly exchange the left ones for the right ones.

Office workers have come to enjoy a lunch of one of those hippie sandwiches, with the Romaine and lettuce and cheese and tomato on 73-grain bread, with some mayonnaise and alfalfa sprouts. Eating right will help take pounds away! But why run down to Harry Hippie's Health Food and Natural Emporium to get the sprouts, when this starter kit will allow you to grow your own all morning as you pound away on the keys!?