Since you ask...

Sometimes, younger people honor me by asking for advice.  I don't think this is because they ascribe any particular wisdom to me, and nothing I say or write would seem to nullify that.  But they figure I've been around since Hector was a pup, and just maybe I may have learned a thing or two about affairs of the heart and/or mind, which, believe me, are not always connected.

See?  I learned that pretty well!

The question I hear more often than any other is, "Should I change to please that person I am trying to get with?  Should I lose weight, change my hairdid, take a night course in rug hooking, develop an interest in world travel, learn the fine art of French cooking, become a wine expert, switch my political views and affiliation to match theirs?"

And while that sounds like the perfect answer, the real fact of life is that after you make all these changes, he or she might throw you over in favor of a pudgy, poorly-groomed hermit whose idea of gourmet chow is Vienna Sausages on Ritz crackers and a Cherry Dr Pepper.  It's sad, but the deal is, you have to be yourself.  Just think of this: if you like someone, you like them the way they are. right?  So just as you wouldn't expect someone to change, don't let someone expect you to.

There's a fellow from Oklahoma named Dallas Frazier. (I guess he got that first name because whoever heard of a kid named "Oklahoma City" Frazier?) whose songwriting career started off with "Alley Oop" for The Hollywood Argyles before he went country and wrote for Jack Greene, Ferlin Husky and Connie Smith.  For Connie, he wrote a song called "Just For What I Am," which I recommend to anyone thinking about being what they aren't.

The words are below so you can karoake it yourself as Connie sings:   (This is the version with Connie's husband Marty Stuart backing her on guitar, and Buck Trent on electric banjo.)

Blue ain't just a word, it's a feeling
A feeling of loneliness that I can feel right now
Love has looked at me but tried to change me
I wish that love would take me just for what I am
Just for what I am, I want someone to love me
Someone who won't expect me to be like their old memory
Just for what they see, just for being me
I want someone to love me just for what I am
Cry ain't just a sound, it's a sadness
A sadness that lives with me, and follows me around
Love wants me to be someone I can't be
I wish that love would take me just for what I am
Just for what I am, I want someone to love me
Someone who won't expect me to be like their old memory
Just for what they see, oh just for being me
I want someone to love me just for what I am
I want someone to love me just for what I am

And please always remember, and don't ever forget, you have to be who you are. There is only one you! Don't try to be the fake someone else. The right person is out there being the right person.