Foot's Forecast

We always read that the greatest thing about America is that it's the land of the free and home of the brave.  And nothing could be more true, because under a dictatorship, the government would step in and forbid people to go walking on hot coals, thus preventing dozens of injuries, but crimping the rights of people to attend a Tony Robbins event in California where they burned the hell out of their feet.

Cheaply-toupeed motivational speaker Robbins got 6,000 souls to lay down good money and show up at his shindig, the big finale of which is The Firewalk Experience, where people parade across coals glowing at a balmy 1200° - 2000° in order to have a transformational experience.

They certainly do!  They change from people who walked in on their own two feet to people who need help getting home, what with their feet all blistered.  Some of them were soaking their paws in fountains for relief.


No one can convince me that there is any value to singeing your soles on coals, but there is one side benefit not often discussed.  The birth rate among festival goers will be down for the foreseeable future, since this procedure made all the men limp.