Everyone seems to want to be better looking. Even good looking people report regularly for plastic surgery to get those cheekbones raised, those eye bags hemmed, and those crows' feet around the eyes taken to the woodshed.
Plastic surgery is expensive. The way people mistake me at the liquor store or Dollar Tree for Colin Firth or Keanu Reeves is gratifying, and they often pay me the compliment of subtly, indirectly, asking how I achieve this look of steely manliness combined with youthful exuberance.
What they do, these strangers, is to inquire, "What the hell happened to your face?"
I know, you can take that two ways. Well, this old face is what you have when you have spent almost 75 years laughing all the time. The smirk might as well be tattooed on me. And as Shel Silverstein wrote in "The Winner," "my eyes still see and my nose still works and my teeth are still in my mouth. And you know, that makes me, the winner!"
Or maybe, I am a winner of sorts because I have not resorted to doing a doggone thing to my face except for whittling off whiskers a couple of times a week and splashing on the Bay Rum. My face is not my fortune, Cookie.
And that makes me sad to see young people ( and a few who should know better) resorting to bone smashing to improve the lines on their countenances. I looked it up.
Bone smashing" is a dangerous, trending social media practice within "looksmaxxing" subcultures where individuals intentionally hit their facial bones with blunt objects (such as hammers, bottles, or massage guns) to induce microfractures. Proponents falsely believe that as the bones heal, they will become thicker and more chiseled, resulting in a more attractive, structured face.
If you know someone so hung up on their appearance as to smash their face with whatever, please point them in the general direction of help for the rest of their head.
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