Shiny

Lately, the Baltimore Orioles tv broadcasts have had annoying commercials for some energy swill called "Celsius." So I thought I would be "Fair, And Hype" this new product.

There is no depth to which I will not pursue a bad pun. And I don't know any good ones.

So anyway, this energy drink...in the commercial, all sorts of cool people are guzzling it with alacrity, and I want to be cool, but not as much as I wish to continue enjoying my usual tipples - hot tea, iced tea, seltzer water with cranberry juice.

We decided to see what was in this joy-giving elixir, and here's the story:

Celsius energy drinks contain a blend of ingredients designed to boost metabolism and provide energy. Key components include carbonated filtered water, citric acid, taurine, guarana seed extract, green tea extract, caffeine, and various vitamins and minerals like B vitamins, vitamin C, and chromium. They are also formulated without sugar, high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, or artificial colors or flavors. 

And then came this caveat: while Celsius is pitched as a healthy alternative to traditional sugary energy drinks, some individuals may have bad effects from the caffeine and other stimulants, especially if you swig too much Celsius or are sensitive to stimulants.

Looking at what's in the can, ok, carbonated water is my drink, and what is Taurine? Doesn't sound tasty, or salubrious, or even healthy.  Sure, every adult needs a certain amt. of guarana seed extract...and then get this part...CHROMIUM! 

Like hello? You're gonna look like the front bumper of a 1957 Plymouth? Chromium? In my drink? 

I'm gonna say no, thanks. I am not cool enough for Celsius.