Book him!

You can't even open your Facebook or listen to the news without hearing from someone who's all worked up over someone else's gender identity. 

But let me tell you about a man who took it upon himself to strike back in the stupidest possible way. His name is Jeremy Hanson, and he sent threatening messages ...to Merriam Webster! Because of this....

 

You see, Jeremy does not care for gender-inclusive definitions, and when he opened the new Merriam-Webster dictionary and saw new definitions for "girl," "woman," and "female," he did what any red-blooded American maniac would do, and fired off hostile emails to the publisher.

“It is absolutely sickening that Merriam-Webster now tells blatant lies and promotes anti-science propaganda,” Hanson, of California, wrote in the 2021 messages. "There is no such thing as ‘gender identity.’ The imbecile who wrote this entry should be hunted down and shot.”

Bein's as Jeremy has a busy schedule back home in Sunny Cali, scanning dictionaries for words he doesn't like, he was tried remotely for a federal court trial in Massachusetts.

The trial in federal court was help in Federal Court in Massachusetts, where the company is based, remotely, and for his efforts, Jeremy was awarded one year and one day in prison, plus 30 days of home confinement, three years of probation, and he was ordered to undergo mental health treatment.

He told M-W through their website and said he was “going to shoot up and bomb” its offices, forcing the publisher’s Massachusetts and New York City locations to close for five days.

Here comes the part I always enjoy: His defense attorney, Marissa Elkins, says he has a history of anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder and claims that spending time in the Ironbar Hilton could have a deleterious affect on his mental health. A good way to prevent prison-related anxiety has always been the avoidance of illegal acts.

Mr Hanson, you are now a "convicted felon" and an "inmate." Look that up in your Merriam-Webster!