Fast Food Thoughts (now that I don't eat it anymore)

Arbys was great when they first came along! They had real roast beef that tasted like real roast beef, and now it's some sort of beefish loaf.

Sherri and Terri Mackleberry from 
The Simpsons

McDonald's had the best fries back then because they cut them fresh out of huge potatoes! You could look in the window and see the guy shoving a giant spud into a press, and out spilled several dozen julienned potato spears, ready for a swim in Hot Oil Lake.

Gino's was terrific because they were here first with their Gino Giant and we always felt that McDonald's ripped off the idea. Plus, Gino's was owned by a giant of a man named Gino Marchetti, who played for the Colts and could be seen working the grill at newly-opened restaurants.

Burger King Whoppers were really truly huge when they came to town. Their catch phrase was "It takes two hands to handle a Whopper" but they forgot that your other hand was dipping french fries into the lake of catsup on your tray. It was wise to eat 1/2 of your Whopper, then, before getting into the french fries. Burger King, beside being the Home Of The Whopper, was also home to the funniest thing I ever saw in a fast food joint. Glen Burnie, MD, 1974: I ordered (and paid for) a Cheese Whopper, large fries, large coke. The girl in front of me ordered and paid for a Whopper Jr, small fries, small coke. When they called out my order first, and put it on the counter, she scooped it up like Brooks Robinson fielding a  grounder behind third base, and out the door she flew, leaving just the whiff of her Patchouli lingering in the air. 

Burger Chef, you kind of felt sorry for them, so you went there knowing there wouldn't be a crowd (everyone was at McD's or Gino's).

I got instant indigestion the first time I ate at Wendy's. I don't know why there was a second or even third time. I do remember a friend working there who told me that today's chili was last night's unsold burgers.

I have said for thirty years that I could easily eat three Nachos Bellgrande from Taco Bell in one sitting and I am waiting even yet for someone to sponsor me in that endeavor.