Louie, Louie

I've said a thousand times that I must have missed the day in school when they explained the Solar System, or maybe I was in the vice-principal's office for some routine questioning. Whatever the reason, while the rest of you know all about the sun and moon and stars and planets, I only know two things for sure when it comes to astronomy:

a) It's different from astrology (as if I know anything about that either)

2) I know more about it that Louie Gohmert.

 Louis Buller (Louie) Gohmert Jr. is a United States Congressman from the first district of the state of Texas. Last summer, when he tested positive for COVID-19, he blamed it on wearing a mask, which he was not wearing when he called his entire staff into a room to tell them he had the virus.

He once said that people who "are a little bit crazy are the people that always do the best on foreign policy.”

He once got into an argument with the Attorney General of the United States, claiming that the United States government could have done more to prevent the Boston Marathon bombings. Goehmert ended the byplay by hollering (he does that a lot), “The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus!”

So, he's clearly not on the Top Ten list of Washington Brains. But his latest hard-to-explain statement is, well, hard to explain.

In a House subcommittee hearing the other day, Louie said, "I was informed by the immediate past director of NASA that they have found that the moon's orbit is changing slightly and so is the Earth's orbit around the sun."

"We know there's been significant solar flare activity. And so, is there anything that the National Forest Service or BLM (Bureau of Land Management) can do to change the course of the moon's orbit or the Earth's orbit around the sun? Obviously, that would have profound effects on our climate."

 His point is that there is a connection between the moon and Earth's orbit and solar flares and climate change. He was questioning US Forest Service Associate Deputy Chief Jennifer Eberlien, and he asked if the National Forest Service or Bureau of Land Management could change the orbits of the moon and Earth.

Read that again if you need to. Even I know that only Superman can move the planets. And the National Forest Service is too busy sweeping the forests, anyway.

Ms Eberlien's response was that she "would have to follow up with you on that one, Mr. Gohmert."

But how can she?