Sunday Rerun: "Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe" - The Hollies

If you heard the report on CNN that said that 7% of the American populace believes that chocolate milk comes from brown cows, please stop banging your head against the refrigerator. All that does is shake up the milk inside it, and then, if you live in a cottage, you'll have cottage cheese.

That 7% of America, by the way, comes to 17.3 million Americans.

Gulp.

The people who took the survey of Americans and found those 17 million gozzleheads told CNN they have no idea where this idea comes from.

I can tell you about a friend of mine who refused to eat corned beef because she believed that that tasty sandwich meat was produced by feeding cows nothing but corn.

Anyone who goes around the Petting Zoo at the State Fair when a bunch of city kids examine chickens that don't come in an eight-piece bucket knows they don't know much about critter life.

Dave Durian on WBAL used to talk about a woman in his home town who believed that we lost an hour of sleep EVERY NIGHT during Daylight Savings Time.

There are plenty of people who believe that if they walk with a forked stick (a "divining rod") the stick will suddenly bend earthward, indicating a good place to dig a well, thus illustrating the well-known scientific principle of the magnetic effect water has on wood.

We already discussed the belief among basketball players that Earth is flat. They think that, because they are 7 feet tall and can see the distant horizon better than most.

And now, riding in on a strong gust of wind, come Akahi Ricardo and Camila Castello, husband and wife, mom and dad, and practicing "Breatharians." 

They claim that since becoming breatharians nine years ago, they have barely eaten, choosing instead to live off "the universe’s energy."

Castello and Ricardo have a 5-year-old son and a 2-year-old daughter, and say that three times a week, everyone chows down on some vegetable broth or a piece of fruit. And that's it, except for all the air they can breathe. Camila claims not to have eaten at all while carrying and delivering the baby.

They really feel that food and water are not required to live a full and happy and healthy life, and that by not spending their money on Big Macs, Cheez Doodles and linguini, they have more money to travel.

This blog, which is always written after I have had a nice breakfast, exists solely to inform while amusing, or to amuse while informing, and so I urge Castello and Ricardo to avoid the following destinations this summer as they load up their Airmobile to See The USA:

• Sandwich, Massachusetts.
• Burnt Corn, Alabama.
• Chicken, Alaska.
• Cookietown, Oklahoma.
• Coconut Creek, Florida.
• Cream, Wisconsin.
• Ding Dong, Texas.
• Hot Coffee, Mississippi.