Getting Jumpy

Just the other day, a Florida congressman (he would want us to mention his name) with a history of drunk driving offenses said the following about the impeachment inquiry:

"What we see in this impeachment is a kangaroo court and Chairman Schiff is acting like a malicious Captain Kangaroo."

Well, as they say on the morning news shows, there's a lot to unpack there. First of all, what is a kangaroo court, and where did we get that term (as opposed to calling an informal tribunal a "giraffe court"), and what does Captain Kangaroo have to do with all this?

A kangaroo court operates outside of the judicial system.  A good example would be a group of citizens holding one or more persons for perceived violations of the law, and having a trial right there in the clubhouse at the community pool. This sort of thing is, of course, strictly against the law, and if you try to have a trial for your neighbor in your basement, you will probably get to see how the real court system works firsthand very soon.

Judge Robinson presiding.

Baseball teams tend to hold kangaroo courts to deal with mistakes made by players. The players will decide to fine one of their own for dropping a fly ball or not stealing a base, that sort of thing, and the fines levied go toward a nice team party at the end of the season. The Baltimore Orioles, in their glory days, were famous for running a lighthearted court with future Hall of Famer Frank Robinson as presiding judge.

As to where the term comes from, there are many notions. The most interesting to me is that during the California Gold Rush in the 1850s, Australians were accused to coming to the American West to "jump" claims and take gold from the area that some other prospector had already spoken for. The thought here is that Australians came here from the land of kangaroos and jumped, so, when the other prospectors sought justice, they called it a Kangaroo Court.  Maybe, but no one knows for sure.

Capt. Kangaroo

As to Captain Kangaroo, perhaps the congressman is too young to know who he was. A man named Bob Keeshan played the Captain on a morning TV show watched by me and millions of other baby boomin' kiddos in the 50s and 60s. The Captain was a grandpappy kind of guy who wore a big coat and had a gigantic keyring and more or less hung around with characters like Mr Greenjeans, Bunny Rabbit and Mr. Moose. I seem to remember him giving us life guidance advice but I can't say for sure. I got most of my wisdom, what there is of it, from Milton Berle, the man who said, "I’d like to tell you some jokes now, but you’d only laugh" and, "My doctor told me jogging would add years to my life. I think he's right. I just started and already I feel ten years older!"

But an urban legend goes around now and then that claims that Lee Marvin, tough guy actor, told Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show that Keeshan, who played such a mild mannered character on TV, was actually the toughest and bravest Marine fighting the World War II battle at Iwo Jima.  It's a great story and people love to forward it to each other, except for two slight flaws: Marvin did not see combat at Iwo Jima, having been wounded in battle beforehand and relegated to hors de combat status.  And Keeshan was in the Marines later, but had not even enlisted at the time of that epic battle.

Otherwise, it all stands.

Tomorrow, let's talk about not talking about what we don't know about.