Cut it out

I like that ME-TV channel, the place to see Andy Griffith, My Three Sons, Leave It To Beaver, Gunsmoke, M*A*S*H, Gomer Pyle, and dozens of other shows you already saw 16 times.

A lot of those old shows are so old, they don't even try to make important points about socioeconomic inequality and the other ills so pervasive to our world today.  There never was a "Very Special 'Green Acres'," depicting Eb's lonely battle against root beer addiction.

But the other morning, the "My Three Sons" rerun was a 1966 classic called "Whatever Happened to Baby Chip?" The topic was Chip's hair, and the length and color of it.

As I watched the plot unfold (middle son Chip has let his hair grow to almost shoulder-length in order to fit in with the cool guys in junior high, and then he dyes it platinum, which sends his father off to the company psychologist at work for advice, and then Chip suddenly "comes to his senses" and gets a good old-fashioned haircut and everyone has a nice laugh and a steaming bowl of Uncle Charley's oatmeal) I couldn't help but wonder how it must feel to watch a show where the whole world is flipping out over how long a boy's hair is.  For those of you who weren't around 53 years ago, long hair on boys was a sure sign of the decay of society, and parents and school principals wasted many a night and day worrying about Junior's locks, instead of worrying about how to educate Junior (and Sis, for that matter).

A group called The Barbarians achieved a #55 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 with their song "Are You A Boy Or Are You A Girl?," an arrhythmic tune that seemed unclear as to which side of the controversy the band took. Parents decorated their Buick Estate Wagons with bumper stickers saying " Beautify America - Get a Haircut!" and news programs showed barbers sitting around empty barber shops, reading the Police Gazette  and blaming their economic slowdown on four musicians from Liverpool, England.




Of course, things change all the time in society.  By the time the early 70s arrived, construction guys were growing their hair, and many a carpenter or ironworker even yet today can be seen with a long long braided ponytail in back of a rapidly decreasing hairline. Attorneys and stockbrokers dared to have hair touching their ears, sideburns made every man an Elvis, and the first guys who had that Beatle hairdid were going with the Kojak look.

They say that being a parent is a lot like being a general. It's important to choose your battles. The length of a boy's hair never was worth more than half a second of anyone's attention, nor will it ever be.