Lazybones

I fear that, as a driving people, we have become lazy and complacent.  Power steering, power brakes, power windows, all that is nice, but what about these new cars that parallel-park themselves and this Mercedes that alerts you when you are falling asleep, drifting out of your lane or about to smash into the very large lumber truck 30 feet ahead of you? 

Who needs a Big Mac?

I see the commercials for these vehicles and I remember the old days when driving a car meant steering with one's left knee while shifting gears with the right hand, holding a Gino Giant in the left hand and nestling a Super Big Gulp in the crotchular area.  There was no need for an early warning doze-off system in those days, for the very idea of rinsing the twig and berries with 64 oz. of cola was enough to ensure rapt attention.

And how about the sauce they used to put on the Gino Giant?  We kids of Baltimore didn't see Dick Clark's American Bandstand after school; we had Buddy Deane on Channel 13.  And we held off the McDonald's invasion for years by patronizing Gino's, consuming Giants and KFChicken and fries and shakes by the ton at a place where you might even see the owner, the stalwart Colt defensive end Gino Marchetti mopping up the joint or flipping a burger.  It's that kind of town. 

This is why, even if we had HAD cell phones back then, we couldn't have answered them while driving, because our hands were already full while driving.