I Love You Because

I am a man who appreciates what I have been given in this life, and that's a considerable amount of things. I realize that I am luckier than I deserve to be, and I want to stop taking so much for granted, so I am vowing to tell people of my appreciation. Just for instance: there is a group of people with space in my building who are doing such noble and good work for a group of deserving individuals, and with their skill sets and abilities, they could go for the big bucks elsewhere, but, thank God, they are here among us every day. I see the faces of the people they help. I've seen their faces in times of no hope and now I see what adding a little hope, a helping hand, and a little encouragement can do for people. I won't go into more detail except to say that these caregivers are not out there talking about themselves or telling others what they ought to be doing; they're just doing something noble and good and life-giving.

Not long ago I heard someone mention the period immediately following 9/11. Remember how people would allow others to merge in traffic, how they would say "excuse me" and "thanks" and "you go first" and other nice things? There was an upsurge in patriotism, but even more important to me was an upsurge in human kindness. It felt as if those of us who had survived that awful day were going to help everyone deal with the common grief. And of course, as a child of the era in which we all refused to believe in that incredible unanimal mankind described by cummings, I felt heartened enough to believe that the long-forecast days of peace and harmony were finally here.

I tend to relate to things in terms of things already experienced. I look back a good deal more than I look ahead, because I know more about history than about the future. Honest to Pete, when 9/11 was going on, the lines from T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland came to mind: "What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow, out of this stony rubbish? Son of man, you cannot say or guess..." I was wrong when I predicted that a whole new time of peace and love and harmony would grow out of that stony rubbish, because I foolishly forgot that the man down at 1600 Pa. Av. DC would leap at the opportunity to help his friends in the oil, electronics, bullet, uniform, tank, rifle and guided missile industries become filthy rich on the backs of the same people who were saying "excuse me" to each other in the supermarket.

Another poem came to mind today. Peggy and I were at Trader Joe's, buying some appetizers for Easter dinner, and I cleverly decided to shake a bottle of Asian dipping sauce to see the sesame seeds dance about in the rich brown goo-goodness. This would have been a better idea had I not been holding, in the same hand, a little cup of the free sample coffee that Trader Joe graciously provides. Mocha goodness poured out of the little cup and cascaded onto the front of the frozen food counter. Peggy immediately put down the package of spinach whatsises she was examining, and did which of the following?

a) laughed and laughed
b) called the store cleanup guy
c) pulled a Kleenex out of her purse, mopped my caffeinated hand dry, wiped up the counter, and asked me if I needed a refill on the coffee.

Anyone who has ever met Peggy, or even heard of her, knows at once the right answer is "C." She amazes me with her love, even though she has blessed me with it for almost 35 years. The song that came to mind was "I Love You Because," an old country standard sung by just about everyone back in the day:


I love you because you understand dear every single thing I try to do

You're always there to lend a helping hand dear

I love you most of all because you're you

No matter what the world may say about me

I know your love will always see me through

I love you for the way you never doubt me but most of all I love you cause you're you


I love you because my heart is lighter every time I'm walking by your side

I love you because the future's brighter

The door to happiness you've opened wide

No matter what may be the style or season I know your heart will always be true

I love you for a hundred thousand reasons but most of all I love you cause you're you

Friends, I still believe in love, and I believe that much love is out there for everyone. I was lucky and found it, or, more likely, the cosmos could not bear the thought of me rolling through life unhinged. If you have found the love of your life, cherish it, please. If you're still waiting for it to come to you, I bless the day it will arrive. And I know it will!