Crazy at the store

Sometimes I feel like the steel ball in a pinball game, just careering from one odd thing to the next. 

Do you ever feel like some massive series of pranks is afoot? Do you wonder why does it always happen to you?

You tell me. I was in the grocery store - no names, please, but it rhymes with cries and tries - just for a couple of things (tea bags and brownie mix, to be exact.) When I got to the checkout area, there was a bit of a line at the one (ONE!) register with a live employee on duty, so I broke one of my cardinal rules and went to a self-checkout. Never again, grrrr.

Ahead of me was a young mom with a few items and her two little girls. Each of the girls had one of those little "shopper in training" miniature carts. Cute and cuter, I thought to myself, and waited for them to finish. Since the mom had to wrangle her purchases into a bag and then get the girls lined up to push their wee carts to the exit, this took a little time, of which I have nothing but, right?

Along comes the trail boss - an officious young woman who works for the store and wanted to break up the eddying mob around the checkout. "You can step up here to #6," she looked at me and commanded.

"All right. I'm just waiting for these ladies, no problem."

"Well, did you say, 'excuse me'?" she snarled.

I have to admit. I've been taken out to dinner, taken for a ride and taken for a fool, but it is rare that I am taken aback. I was yesterday, though. In fact, I was so surprised that I said, "Did you really ask me if I said 'excuse me' to these ladies?" and she said, "We got to keep these lines moving."

I guess the total time it took for the three females to move out was 7 to 8 seconds, but here it is, hours later, and I am still reeling from the shock of being offered etiquette lessons from someone who just months ago was attending the Junior Prom. 

Years ago - even before the age of cell phones - the Roman orator Cicero went around saying, "O tempora, o mores!". It was all right for him to speak in Latin, as that's what everyone did back then. The expression means "Oh, the times! Oh, the customs!", and Cicero was talking about the decline in manners and proper behavior in the days of the Roman Republic. 

Maybe I should say that to her the next time she tries to get an old man hustling.