Lost In Space

Do you know the difference between NASA and that guy down the street with the broken-down Subaru Outback sitting immobile down the street for six months now?

The guy down the street doesn't get to dunk the Outback in the Pacific Ocean once he gives up trying to get it running!

That's one difference. The other is, the guy down the street doesn't have an annual budget of $23.3 billion, like NASA does. So Mr Shade Tree Mechanic has to pay someone to drag his beater to an auto graveyard...

...and NASA is just going to crash the International Space Station into the Pacific Ocean in 2031.

And it won't be the only piece of used-up space junk down in Davy Jones's locker.

All the other rusty spacecrafts will have to move over one spot on the seafloor at Point Nemo, the farthest point from land in the Pacific.

We shot the International Space Station (ISS) up in the air more than 20 years ago, where it has served as a temporary home for more than 200 astronauts, and been the site of dozens of scientific discoveries. New and better ways to make grilled cheese sandwiches, diet Tang, and how many wedgies can be performed in a brand-new pair of tighty whities before the elastic gets all stretched out of shape are just of the benefits to mankind that billions of tax dollars have brought about. 

But like a leased Buick, the aging spacecraft is due for replacement, so in 2031, NASA will dunk it into the Pacific in a controlled "landing."

"While the ISS will not last forever, NASA expects to be able to operate it safely through 2030," the air and space agency states.

The space station orbits 261 miles above earth as a flying science lab.  As is usual with something of this size, it was assembled in pieces. The Russians sent up the first piece in 1998. The first astronauts moved in in November of 2000 and were surprised to find a welcome basket on the kitchen counter, with fresh bagels from Pluto and coupons good for an ice cream cake at Saturn 31 Flavors.

The spacecraft has five bedrooms, two bathrooms, a gym, and huge solar panels to turn solar power into electricity, what with earth being farther away than any extension cord can reach.

And NASA plans to make the most of these next nine years until The Big Splashdown; they'll be doing more research, promoting international cooperation, and "helping the private spaceflight industry gain more momentum," according to Scientific American’s Mike Wall.

"The International Space Station is entering its third and most productive decade as a groundbreaking scientific platform in microgravity," says Robyn Gatens, director of the ISS at NASA Headquarters, in a statement. "We look forward to maximizing these returns from the space station through 2030 while planning for transition to commercial space destinations that will follow."

Along with free COVID test kits and N-95 masks, every American citizen is entitled to a free T-shirt bearing the slogan "My Tax Money Went To Space And All I Got Was This Crummy T-shirt.