Bored silly

As long as there are jobs, there will be people doing those jobs, and that's where the trouble begins. There was an ad for an automated radio robot gizmo that replaced live disc jockeys with a computerized machine, and the sales pitch to station owners was that the machine never needed a day off, never called out sick, never got caught with some other guy's girlfriend in flagrante delicto in the back room of the radio station where they stored the teletype paper, sodas for the Coke machine, and thousands of Conway Twitty albums.

Oh, the stories I could tell. 

But it turns out that when a job needs to be done, humans make the best people for the job, and that means employers run into trouble now and then, as in this case:

Over in chilly Russia, a security guard is in trouble. He was supposed to be keeping an eye on the art at a museum. He vandalized a painting on his first day of work. 

You have to like the way he got right to the task at hand, rather than put it off until the second week or something.

They say he doodled two sets of eyes on artist Anna Leporskaya's 'Three Figures' (1932–1934) painting while he was on the night shift.

The next day, a pair of eagle-eyed art lovers at the Yeltsin Center came to the exhibition titled "The World as Non-Objectivity. The Birth of a New Art" and reported seeing spots.

But they weren't the type of spots that require the attention of an ophthalmologist, no sir. They were the spots that the rookie guard drew on the previously naked eyes in the painting. 

The defaced painting (I think it looks better this way!) was on loan from the State Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow. Officials determined the guard did it, and he told them it was because he was "bored" on his first day.

The man in question is 60 years of age. He has been fired, and could face criminal charges.

I hope they put his trial on Court TV!

Repairing the painting will cost $3,000, and the security company will have to eat that. They are assured that the painting can be totally repaired, with no damage.

I really hope the guard applies for another job, so that in his interview, when they ask what happened at his last place of employment, he can start with, "Well, what had happened was..."