I love history

One day, people will look back on how civilization acted during the COVID-19 pandemic, and they will probably shudder in disbelief.

But that's what history gives us: the chance to look back on lunatic behavior with a shake of the head and a hearty disapproval.

I don't think enough people study history enough, a belief borne out recently when the National Football League acted surprised when groups of 75+ men working together started up with outbreaks of the virus. Several head coaches were unable to take their field with their squads the weekend before Christmas, leading the local Baltimore sporting media to ask Ravens head coach John Harbaugh who would take charge of the team should he be sidelined with the disease some still call a Chinese hoax.

Here is the reply, directly from the official transcript of Harbaugh utterances:

"Oh my gosh, you already have me buried! (laughter) You're throwing dirt on me – come on." (laughter) (Reporter: "But do you have any plans?")"I will cross that bridge when we get there, how about that? I do have a plan, yes. There is a plan in place. … It's not Alexander Haig, I can tell you that. It wasn't Alexander Haig then, either. Some of you guys appreciate that reference, right? …(points to a reporter)You don't even know. You don't even know the Alexander Haig reference. Wow. You're a history guy?"(Reporter: "Yes, but I don't know it.")"Ronald Reagan, Alexander Haig. … Do you want me to go through it? When Ronald Reagan … Remember when he got shot?"(Reporters: "Yes.")"Right, and he was in the hospital. There was a succession order, and something happened with the vice president, I'm not sure. Maybe he was … Who was the vice president? [Walter] Mondale?"(Reporter: "No, no. It was … It was [George H.W.] Bush.")"[George H.W.] Bush, he wasn't there for some reason. I think it would've been the 'pro tem' [pro tempore] of the House, I'm pretty sure. Check me on that. But Alexander Haig, the Secretary of State, came storming in and did a press conference and said, 'I'm in charge,' which he wasn't, but he thought he was. So, that's the Alexander Haig reference."

What this tells us is to stick with the historians on the topic of presidents, not football coaches who say that lifelong Democrat Walter Mondale would have been part of the ill-fated Reagan administration.

But, to keep with the sports analogies, in baseball, the "neighborhood play" is a recognized part of the game. That's there the shortstop or second baseman takes a throw as part of a double play. Said player is supposed to touch second base to make an out, but umpires will usually call an out if the infielder is somewhere in the neighborhood of second base, rather than actually being there and getting stampeded by 282 pounds of Aaron Judge.

Taking away that Mondale foolishness, Coach Harbaugh gets partial credit for the allusion to Haig, a former Army general who worked his way into the White House time and again, chiefly because he said things like, "The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood" and people thought him to be profound. He was Chief of Staff under Nixon and Ford, and became Secretary of State for Reagan.

Two months after Reagan was sworn in, he was shot by a guy who was trying to impress Jodie Foster. Really! And in the confusion of the White House that afternoon, as Reagan was being taken into surgery and reporters were asking where Vice President George H.W. Bush was (he was making a speech in Austin, Texas), Haig stepped up before the microphones and cameras and shouldered everyone else aside to say "I am in control here."

Actually, he wasn't, under any understanding of the law and US Constitution.  As  Secretary of State, to be in line to be acting HMFIC, Haig was behind Vice President Bush, Speaker of the House Tip O'Neill, President pro tempore of the Senate Strom Thurmond, and Billy Martin, who was managing the Oakland Athletics that season. 

But it was fun to remember the bantam rooster that Haig always seemed to be, trying to wrest power that he didn't have in a vainglorious attempt to seem important. In 1988, he ran for president, garnering an impressive 1% of the primary vote after calling eventual winner G.W. Bush a "wimp."

The 80s. You really had to be there.