Wednesday, May 12, 2021

"Tyger Tyger, burning bright, in the forests of the night..."

"And checking the American League baseball schedule, I see the Tigers are in Houston..."

We saw this on the news, and now, here are the details. Over the weekend, in a city called Houston, in a crazy state the natives call "Texas," a tiger was roaming around a residential area. The police have taken a suspect into custody.


And because it's "Texas," the suspect was walking around free, on bond, from a murder charge.

He's 26, his name is Victor Hugo Cuevas, and now he has to face an additional charge of evading arrest with his pet tiger.

As of this writing (yesterday morning) the tiger is still on the loose, police said.

Attention people attending law school: there might come a time in your legal career when you will need to issue a statement such as this:

"My client is not the owner of the tiger."

KHOU-TV reports that Cuevas's attorney, Michael Elliott, went on to say, "HPD was in such a hurry to wrap it and find their guy that they just assumed because my client was the one who caught this tiger, who went out and got it and brought it back into safety, everyone is just assuming that he is the owner of the tiger."


Please take a moment to read that sentence out loud. Then, look at yourself in a mirror. You'll see that your eyes are spinning like slot machine cherries.

Attorney Elliott went on to lament, "He's already been convicted, which is a shame."

He went on to claim that Cuevas had a deal with the police that he would turn himself in at 8:15, but the cops double crossed Cuevas and pinched him at 8.

This whole confusing situation began on Sunday when a neighbor called 911 to report the big cat strutting around the neighborhood. Someone came along and corralled the beast and they drove off in an SUV. 

The only person in this whole saga whose story holds up is the tiger. Stay tuned for more!

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