On my way out, I asked him for the brand name of the eye drops, so I could be prepared for the next time I walked into a tree branch. (Ooops). He said it wasn't available at Pharm-A-Lot, because these eye drops contained cocaine.
Ohhhhkay.
So I can report from firsthand experience, or eyewitness testimony, as it were, that cocaine is an effective pain reliever, and, sadly, for the past fifty years or so, people have come to use and abuse it for a lot more than treating corneal abrasions.
This leads, of course, to a huge international business in the production and distribution of the stuff, sad to say. People go to great lengths to hide bags of the insidious white powder in or on themselves to sneak it past customs inspectors.
But if you know me, you know I can wring humor out of anything, so with that in mind, I present to you The Stupidest Smuggler Of All Time.
They don't even give his name, for fear of his entire family being made laughingstocks, but he looks like this:
Yes sir. I know it's funny to Google "Florida man" and roar at the resultant tide of goofiness, but how about this Colombian who cleverly secreted half a kilo of cocaine under his toupee, only to be stopped by eagle-eyed police at the Barcelona Airport?
The police said the man drew their attention because "he looked nervous," and maybe that was because he looked like he had two heads and wasn't really using either of them.
And when they took off his hat and toupee, there he stood, with $34,000 worth of the drug on his melon.
“There is no limit to the inventiveness of drug traffickers trying to mock controls,” said the police in a statement.
The report I saw stated that over 100 kilos of cocaine were seized by police at the Barcelona-El Prat airport in 2018.
Come on. It's like you criminals aren't even trying anymore!
No comments:
Post a Comment