One hell of an idea

We don't often discuss religion here, because there is no faster way to get into a big bruising brouhaha than to talk about the various ways we humans have of worshipping the supernatural forces that dropped us here, expecting us to play nicely.

And look how that turned out.

Just speaking for myself here, I believe that whatever you believe should be respected, and I wish you and your faith the best every day in every way, and you are welcome to practice as you see fit. I happen to love people representing most of the major faiths of the world, with one exception being that Baltimore is notoriously short on Slavic Neopaganists.

But if I knew any, I would tip my cap to them and wish them peace and love.

Yes, any and all religious activity is fine with me, except for Jesse Duplantis. 

Up until a couple of weeks ago, who had even heard of this silver-haired sinbuster from out of Destrehan, LA? I hadn't.

But now we know him as the man who wants his followers to shell out to the tune of  $54 million to buy him a jet plane, so that his ministry "can go anywhere in the world in one stop."

He must really be in a hurry!

Jesse (you don't think his middle name could be "James," do you?) is one of those preachers who preach the "prosperity gospel," which holds that the practice of faith involves lots of loot for the parson, or as my favorite Robert Tilton used to say, "God don't want you following no poor preacher into Heaven" (sic).

His reasons for his flock ponying up for 54 million semolians involves a donkey. "I really believe that if the Lord Jesus Christ was physically on the Earth today, he wouldn't be riding a donkey," Duplantis says. "He'd be in an airplane flying all over the world."

So buy him an airplane, which he calls "an amazing tool for evangelizing the world" in a tweet.

Not that Duplantis is taking the next donkey himself on his evangelical travels, mind you. He already has three private jets and has been "burning them up for the Lord Jesus Christ," as he puts it, in language that surely pleases the Lord Jesus Christ.

His current ride is a Dassault Falcon 50, but he is coveting (Commandment #10) a Dassault Falcon 7X, known as "the benchmark for the 21st century business jet."




Duplantis wants you to understand that God is behind this scheme. I love how these cats always tell you that God whispers in their ear while they're digging into the Chateaubriand. Duplantis says God told him, "I want you to believe in me for a Falcon 7X."

I hope it turns out that it's all a ruse and that Jesse Duplantis will rake in his $54M and then go out and spend it on the lame and halt, the helpless, the homeless, the hopeless.

I also hope that Ariana Grande will show up to sing Happy Birthday to me on June 30, and that ain't happening either, I bet.