If you're like me, you like the store-brand sugar-free Raspberry Jam, so all this commotion over Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, and Buckingham Palace and their competing breakfast spreads means nada.
But the Megster is out with her own line of jams from her "lifestyle brand", called American Riviera Orchard. The Buckinghams thought that was Kind Of A Drag and are advertising their own line of spreads. As the anxious world quakes and waits, we shall see if the jelly war spreads.
Apparently, the Royal Family has sold jelly from its Buckingham Palace Shop since Henry VIII or something (his pitch line: "You'll lose your head over my strawberry spread!") In their dignified way, they released a video touting the goodness of their line. “Our Strawberry Preserve is made using only the finest berries and is delicious served in a variety of ways,” claimeth the Kingsmen.
And then, along came the delightful Chrissy Teigen, with a video about how great the products from the American Riviera Orchard are.
Surely, all Royal watchers remember the cultural peak we all attained when Teigen and Meghan were "briefcase girls" on “Deal or No Deal.”
Chrissy burbled, “This might be one of the best bites we’ve had all year,” as she showed her jam being applied to some rustic bread, along with crème brie and bacon. This tantalizing taste treat “made us happy for the entire weekend,” she burbled on.
It was 2020 when Meghan and Prince Harry said they were playing a royal flush, and stepping away from the pomp and circumstance. This orchard is just one facet of what will seem to be an endless display of Harry and Meghan's wares. They've also filed for a trademark application to deal in “tableware, drinkware including decanters, kitchen linens and edible treats such as jellies, jams, marmalade and spreads” and potentially cookbooks.
I'm glad that they specified their drinkware line will include decanters. I was afraid we'd be stuck guzzling our Donald Duck frozen lemonade out of that nice decanter the hospital gave me as a parting gift.
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