Easy does it

First of all today, I have to ask why so many people are walking around wearing those Bluetooth earpieces. I mean, it would be one thing if the people we saw with these blinking devices stuck on their melons were at work, expecting an important message about the Harrigan account, or from the kidnappers holding their family for ransom, or urgent instructions for reporting to the hospital to donate a vital organ or a pint of O-negative. But no. I don't see them on people at work; I see them on people waiting for a table at Carrabba's, or filling the tank of the Biscayne at the Pump 'n' Pay, or running to the bakery for a dozen bagels.

And, you might think that people who feel they can't leave the house and simply plan to get their cell phone out of their pocket or purse in case it rings would have some supercilious smirk on their mugs, or that whole techie show-off aspect. Again -but no! I really feel that most of these people are just scared to death that it might take an extra second to hoist that cell faceward to take the call from Aunt Mildred about how much spice to add to the chili.

But I'll bet if people's employers told them they had to wear this teardrop-shaped earplug to the restaurant, the gas station or the bakery so as not to miss a call, people would balk and holler. Hey - maybe between calls, they are hearing important inter-galactic transmissions to which the rest of us are not privy!

Speaking of transmissions, there's a local radio show on the air here in B'more on which the host asks for your "list of 4" - favorite pies, worst highways, best reasons to eat more noodles, whatever. As far as I know, this is a list that has not been asked for yet, but herewith, my list of the Four Easiest Jobs in the World:

1. Jockey. Be small, get on a horse, hang on, get off a mile and a half later.
2. Photographer. Get a camera, turn it on, look at the viewfinder, push a button.
3. High-school cross-country coach. Get some skinny kids in sneakers, tank tops and shorts, and tell them to run like hell!
4. Director of movies featuring Jack Nicholson. Tell your star "Just act like Mr Udall from As Good As It Gets again."

There are other jobs - president of the United States comes to mind - that seem to be easy enough for the average George to do, but can you top these?