Hold everything

Now and then, news stories appear that make us wince with pain and cry for help for those affected by tragedy.

We take you now to Portland, Oregon, where an inflatable Whopper hamberder broke loose from its moorings and careered through the streets of suburban Newberg the other day.

Eagle-eyed local Alyssa VanZant caught video of the sandwich rolling away from a BK. In the video, the burger is seen crossing a street, knocking over an American flag and crashing into a smoke shop.

Newberg Police Department spokesperson Amy Kepler told the local news that no one called 911 about the rolling rogue Whopper. No injuries or damages were reported, either, but left unanswered is the question of how people are able to remember to grab their phone and start rolling video when they see weird things happen.

Of course, from what I hear about Portland, so many weird things happen there that one might as well walk around with the camera flailing away all the time.