Symptoms of Being Smart

This information was in Reader's Digest magazine, so we know it is medically sound and approved by the Commission On Magazine Lists.

There are a dozen checkpoints here, and my surmise is that if you tick at least six of the boxes, you get to call yourself smart. Six is half of the dozen, although I did see one of those "Can you believe this" things on the interweb the other day in which someone claimed that fifty of something was a dozen. I hope to have that person count my steamed crabs one day.

To the list:

[ ] You have a messy desk

Cornell professor Robert J. Sternberg, PhD, defines intelligence as the ability “to learn from experience, adapt to new situations, understand and handle abstract concepts, and use knowledge to manipulate one’s environment.” Meanwhile, Kathleen Vohs, PhD, says  “Orderly environments, in contrast, encourage convention and playing it safe.”  

You wouldn't want to hold a convention in my desk. But I know pretty well where everything is.

[ ] You stay up late

They did a study at the London School of Economics and Political Science  and figured out that since nighttime was always considered a dangerous part of the day, only the smarter people were smart enough to survive the stygian darkness of 1 AM. 

Score one for the night owls!

[ ] You swear

My sainted father oft remarked that people curse because they don't know the right words to convey their anger or disappointment.  But Dad never had the chance to converse with Timothy Jay, who is a PhD and is also "a renowned expert in cursing." Dr Jay says, "Taboo or ‘swear word’ fluency is positively correlated with overall verbal fluency. The more words you generated in one category meant the more words you generated in another category, orally and verbally.”  

So if you know the list George Carlin spoke of - The Seven Words You Can't Say On Television - you know seven more words than that puritan who looks down the end of his nose at you, over there in the corner raising Ned because you smashed your thumb with a hammer.

[ ] You like cold showers

You know it's ccccccold in Finland, don't you? The authors of a study done there say “adaptation to cold water was associated with a significant decrease in tension and fatigue, and an improvement in mood and memory.” Less tension and fatigue means more brain power, so come on out of the stall with Popsicle toes and watch your IQ soar! 

 

[ ] The sound of chewing annoys you

Northeastern University did a study and it shows that people who rate high in "creative cognition" are not so good at filtering out irrelevant sensory information. Formally stated, that means they have "leaky sensory gating.” 

It also means, get out of here if you're going to sit and eat celery. 

[ ] You doodle

Sunni Brown wrote "The Doodle Revolution," and she says if you make random scratches and tiny cartoons, you are able to recall 29% more information, because doodling gives the brain "a visual way to express concepts and emotions."

That lets me out. The only thing know how to draw is money out of the bank.

[ ] You criticize yourself

This brings into play the Dunning-Kruger effect, which is that theory from Cornell U that says you have to be fairly smart to know how dumb you are.  Being smart, then, lets a person know how much more information is out there that they don't have!

[ ] You daydream

The U of California is out with a study that shows us that people who take a little time off and let their minds wander do better when they get back to the task at hand because they gave themselves an "incubation period" that allows the back room and attic in your noggin to do some noodling while you look at Instagram.

They say that daydreaming is an indication of creativity and problem-solving skills. Especially when you get hollered at for daydreaming and you have to come up with a creative excuse for it in a hurry.

[ ]  You talk to yourself

This doesn't mean the kind of talking to oneself you see among people with faraway looks in their eyes, talking to no one on the bus. This is people from the Universities of Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, saying that if you have a list of things to memorize, reading the list aloud to yourself might help you to remember to get lunchmeat, bread, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and Fritos when you get to the Try-N-Save and wish you had brought the doggone list with you.

[ ]  You like to be a loner

Interesting results came from an experiment in which 15,000 people were given an IQ test and personal questions to answer. It turns out that the people who scored highest on the IQ test tended to be those who said they were not so happy with too much socializing.

The researchers posit that our ancestors lived as hunter-gatherers in groups of about 150, and it was necessary for all the people in the group to contribute in a meaningful way. Today we can make it on our own, but some maintain a reliance on seeing what their friends think about them buying a new car.

[ ] You’re a couch potato

A study from 2016 at the Florida Gulf Coast University surveyed 60 students to see how many thought that thinking was fun, or if they enjoyed tasks and occupations that require minimal thought.divided 60 students into two groups as thinkers and non-thinkers. Turns out, the non-thinkers were much more physically active than the thinkers.

And all I can think of is that guy Zack, Penny's old boyfriend on The Big Bang Theory. Dumb as a box of doorknobs, but willing to wrestle or play basketball any old time.

[ ] You meditate daily

The always-reliable New England Journal of Medicine says that starting or ending one's day with 12 to 15 minutes of “om” time may be the perfect brain booster.  They say that meditation can help "improve your fluid intelligence—your ability to be more creative, innovative, and visionary."

Here I am, thinking that "fluid intelligence" meant remembering to drink enough water every day. But I don't think I checked off enough of these boxes to expect a genius grant, so I'll just stay right here, watching "Jackass" movies all day.