There may not always be an England

There's a fellow down in Tennessee who paid a bit too much attention to that Carrie Underwood song "Jesus, Take The Wheel."  

A bit too much attention, in this case, means he took it entirely literally, and stopped steering the car, in favor of letting Divine Force take control of his Isuzu, or whatever beater he was piloting along the happy highway.

This is exactly why I fear the onset of those self-driving cars, by the way. Too many people will be doing this, believing that ALL cars are Google-driven.  You watch and see! (From a safe distance.)

Say hello to Mr Chad O. England, who is the genius who had a vision in which Jesus appeared to him and said, "You look tired, son. I'll drive. You get some rest."

Police who investigated the resulting accident, in which the driverless car careered off the roadway and rolled over five times, suspect that the hallucination might have been helped along by what they found in the car, to wit "six grams of marijuana, 0.6 grams of cocaine, a pipe, rolling papers, a 3/4 empty bottle of Crown Royal, a small empty bottle of Crown Royal, and several cans used for 'huffing.' "

The police say, unsurprisingly, that England was speaking gibberish, and attempted to flee the scene while carrying a jar of some sort.

If the jar was empty, it contained all the common sense he has. 

Tennessee man told police this week that Jesus personally came to him and told him to let Him drive on his behalf. Asked to take a blood-alcohol test, he said no, although in his defense, who knows what he thought they were asking?

England rounded out his Trifecta Of Legal Problems by having no valid driver's license (although any sharp lawyer will make the point in court that he wasn't really driving), and it won't surprise  you to read that his car was uninsured, will it?

Highlights of the charges against him include DUI first offense, felony possession of schedule II narcotics for resale, possession of schedule VI narcotics, and possession of paraphernalia.  

I don't know whether his crack defense team will call Carrie Underwood in as a witness, but anyone who knows me knows that I do try to walk the straight and narrow, but I am no Biblical scholar by any means.

I can tell you this, though.  If you hear a voice that says, "Hey, it's Jesus. Shove over. I got this" you should pull over immediately and await a prowl car's arrival.

Because of that 11th Commandment:  God Never Told Anyone To Be Stupid.