Apple pie disorder

 We hear people say, "Everything is in apple-pie order," and we take that to mean all is neat and orderly. I've made my share of apple pies, and I'm here to tell you, it is not an orderly process. 

I guess the saying comes from when the pie crust is filled with sliced apples mixed with sugars (brown and white) and nutmeggy spices. You top it with a top crust, slit some slits on top, and throw it in a hot oven.

Later, you serve it warm with ice cream and wonder what's so orderly about it all.

Expressions fascinate me, especially when they make little or no sense. That's when I get all googly and look things up. How about "It's raining cats and dogs"? It never had a thing to do with cascading felines and canines landing on our heads. Historians figure it was all a misunderstanding of an Olde English word "catadupe," which meant waterfall. 

So one old Englishman says, "That was quite a catadupe last night, wasn't it? And his neighbor says, "Cats and dogs all over the place!"

Next thing to look up: when were hearing aids invented? 

One toque over the line

 If you're like me, you don't tend to dine in fancy restaurants where they have upper-crusty details like a wine list, staff wearing tuxedos, and underwear on the lamb chops. 

My kind of places to tie on the feedbag, no one is so concerned about underwear, although they do heed the decal on the rest room mirror (ALL EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS BEFORE LEAVING. THIS MEANS YOU!)

Now, this thing with the chef's hat, the "toque," if you will. There are 100 pleats or folds in it, to denote the 100 ways of cooking an egg.

I now share with you my complete list of ways I like my eggs cooked: 

1. Fried, two at a time, over easy, with grated cheese and pepper. 

So you see, I'm easy to please.  Just keep it simple, and no fancy hat.

Sunday rerun: Bah bah Baaaaaah

  We love you, Barbara Jean Fassert, wherever you are.

Barbara Jean had a brother by the name of Fred, a member of The Regents, a doo-wop group from New York City. In 1961 he wrote a song using her name that went to #3 on the Top 100 chart.

Four years later, Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys was working on his soon-to-be-legendary "Pet Sounds" album, but with Christmas season coming up, his record company was all over him to come up with an album and a single for gift giving time. Geniuses such as Brian don't do well with time constraints, and he was not about to rush songs like "Good Vibrations" and "God Only Knows" until he had perfected them.

But he had another idea. How about, he said, "if we go in the studio with some musicians and friends and pretend to have a party, record the whole thing, and put that out?" That's how the "Beach Boys Party" album came to be. Santa brought me a copy that December and I still have it.

It's not a classic, it broke no new musical ground, but it was fun to listen to, and the single was a new version of "Barbara Ann." By The Beach Boys, not The Regents. 

Well, sort of. 

The Beach Boys and Jan And Dean were close friends, and Brian asked his record company if it would be OK to have them as guests at the "Party."

Nothing doing, came the answer, unless you can get a guarantee from THEIR record company that The Beach Boys can be guests on a Jan And Dean record. And that was never going to fly.

So it was that by pure coincidence (!) J & D were recording across the hall the same day the "Party" was going on, and during a 15 minute break, Dean Torrence, the falsetto voice on so many great records, slipped over to say hi, and the first thing you know, Brian invited him to sing incognito.

(But he would rather sing falsetto, ha ha.)

Dean offered to take the lead on "Barbara Ann," the song was completed in two takes, and he hustled back across the hall, swearing up and down that he did not lend his voice in song.

Listen at the very end here. You can hear Brian Wilson say, "Thank you, Dean!"

Oh well. Some secrets can't stay secret for long!