He got you, babe

 The talk turned to Sonny Bono the other night. The topic had been "people who are born to be salespeople." That list did not include me. I couldn't sell a bucket of water to someone whose pants were on fire. Whatever facility of language I have does not involve persuading people to part with their money, so no sales career for me.

But now, you take Sonny Bono. You might only know him as the shorter, less-attractive half of Sonny & Cher, but he had that gift.

He was born Salvatore Phillip Bono in Detroit, moving with his family to Southern California when he was seven. Even as a kid, he wanted to be in the music business, and started writing songs for others. He was selling meat door-to-door in Los Angeles when he got a job as an all-around office guy for Phil Spector, the greatest producer of rock and roll records ever (but not a great man.) Sonny learned the record business from Spector and lost his job for daring to criticize one of Phil's decisions. By then, he was writing more songs, e.g. "Needles and Pins" for The Searchers and "She Said Yeah" for the Rolling Stones.

By that time, Sonny was ready to make his move. He found Cher and formed a singing and personal partnership with her. They had hit records as a duet and individually.  They made a movie. You wanted entertainment; he was ready to sell it, even if he had to wear a vest that make him look like a yak, and take insults from Cher on national TV about his height, his looks, his atonal singing.

He did not mind this. Sonny knew that the wives at home, in the days when family TV viewing presented a choice among CBS, NBC, ABC, and whatever 1/2ass local station was showing "Highway Patrol" reruns, made the decision on what to watch. Women enjoyed seeing skinny Cher in her Bob Mackie gowns, and their show was a hit for years, until S&C couldn't stand each other any more and went to divorce court. Believe me, showing their divorce proceedings on live TV was something that Sonny would have done had this all taken place in 2025, instead of 1974.

Out on his own, Sonny was not finished selling, so he went into the restaurant business to sell food in Palm Springs, and then sold himself as a politician when he grew frustrated with the machinations of local politics. He became the mayor of Palm Springs and eventually was elected to the US Congress from California's 44th District, where he was serving when he died in a skiing accident in 1998.

To date, Sonny Bono remains the only member of the US Congress to have had a #1 Billboard hit. He was only 62 when he died, and I have absolutely no doubt that if he had lived, he would have become the president of the United States.

I mean, why not?