We must be getting used to people like that Santos from Long Island, people so spectacularly unqualified to do their jobs as to leave jaws agape and arms akimbo.
You can usually spot a newbie by their unsure movements and wide-open eyes. If life were really a comic strip, there would be sweat droplets leaping off their forehead.
But if you're a lifeguard, a moist forehead is all part of the job.
Dateline: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, a city I truly love, where the city says you can apply for a job as a lifeguard at their public pools even if you are unable to...swim. I know, you think of a lifeguard, you think that swimming comes along with the job, just as being able to bake is part and parcel of being a baker, and being able to write is mandatory for those who would be writers.
Come Memorial Day, kids will want to get in the pools, and it's unthinkable for pools to be unattended by lifeguards.
Looking back...the pools were not open in 2020 because of COVID, and budget cuts resulting from COVID kept some of the pools closed in 2021, and in both that year and last year, the city had problems finding qualified pool attendants.
Here we are in 2023, and the City of Brotherly Love has begun their recruitment efforts already. And even if you can't swim, you're welcome to fill out an application, and a Speedo.
The city is offering free swimming lessons at Lincoln High School for anyone who doesn't know how to swim and yet is still planning to take the lifeguard test later on.
Listen, it's not a bad job, albeit temporary: starting pay is $16/hour and you'll get 35 hours a week with SPF lotion on your torso and zinc oxide on your nose and maybe one of those cool <<< pith helmets. If you wish to become president of the United States later in your life, they'll even let you wear a Ronald Reagan tank top!
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