I don't feel like it

I'm still dealing with the Pepsi Challenge (I chose seltzer) so this whole In My Feelings Challenge is not at all on my screen.

Apparently, there is a famous entertainer known as Drake, and apparently he has a popular song out called "In My Feelings," and apparently there is also a social media performer named Shiggy who made a video of himself dancing to Drake's song (don't people have last names anymore?) and called it #DoTheShiggy.

And now people - dentists! Proctologists! Bridge tolltakers! Will Smith! are getting themselves videoed while doing the Shiggy all over the place and putting that video on YouTube.

And, instead of reading the books they should be reading this summer, your children, and everyone else's, are watching these videos, seeing other people dance to yet another person's music.

And then! People decided that anyone can dance* but how many of us are willing to put our car in neutral and bail out of it, dancing along as the cars career down the road.

And then people wonder if the collective intelligence of the nation is dropping.

So for no good reason except to be cool, people are leaving moving vehicles to dance to a song I never heard while their cars crash into dumpsters, or other cars, and people wind up on the ground.

It's gotten to where the National Transportation Safety Board has had to step in and issue a warning to fools foolish enough to practice this behavior.

Drake is all excited by this

“There’s a time and place for everything, but our nation’s highways and roadways are no place for the #inmyfeelings challenge,” Nicholas Worrell, chief of safety at the NTSB, told the Blast.

“Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death in the U.S.,” Worrell continued, in the vain hopes of someone hearing him. “Hopping out of a moving vehicle or jumping into lanes of traffic to show your dance moves is foolish and dangerous — to you and those around you.”

I understand that many of these people were in their cars in the first place, going to Try 'N' Save to buy Tide Pods to nibble on, cinnamon to ingest by the teaspoon and shot glasses to plump their lips on.

I had to stop swallowing goldfish and cramming myself into a phone booth with 17 other people to write this.
 
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* This is the punch line to the classic vaudeville gag "What's the difference between dancing, and pea-green paint?" "Anyone can learn to dance."