Fore!

It was in all the papers that the world of golf has changed its rules. As it turns out, up until now, someone sitting at home watching golf on television (because there was nothing left to do in the entire world but that?) could spot a golfer doing something wrong and call it in! 

This actually happened: A golfer named Lexi Thompson found her ball about 15 inches from the 17th hole during a match, but she marked the ball with one of those little marker thingies about an inch away!  

And then someone watching at home spotted this and called the Ladies Professional Golf Association to rat her out.

The officials levied a two-shot penalty for the illegal marking, and then, because she had signed her scorecard the day before, they ticked off two more penalty shots and she lost the match to So Yeon Ryu in a playoff.  I'm sure you were watching.

So golf is changing, and now players will not "be held to the 'degree of precision' that video technology can provide." I don't understand any of this, why they would allow Max McDivot to phone in from Poughkeepsie to file a complaint in the first place, and why they won't now.  They just won't, that's all.

What a great life it would be if we all could just sit at home and weigh in on the issues of the day?  Like, every time I hear Jesse Palmer on "GMA" say, "Jeter has often spoke of his desire to own a team," I could call the GMA offices and report a participle violation.  

Or when I'm watching baseball and disagree with an umpire's ruling. Whom do I call to get it changed?

Every so often, there is an idea floated to have people vote in elections by pressing a button on their TV remote. They say it's how these things will be done in the future, and I say, that's how we'll wind up electing Victor Newman as president.

Again.