Lagoon Squad

One of the fifteen billion things I like about being an American is, no one can make me go to Disneyworld, Disneyland, the Disneystore, or any other Disneything anyDisneywhere. Please don't hate or pull on my Mouse Ear hat.

I'm no curmudgeon, but there's just nothing there for me.  By means of some very clever elusive action, I have so far avoided seeing so much as a glimpse of "Frozen," and nothing about the princesses or walking mice or talking ducks appeals to me.  

Then there's the fact that the one park is in Florida, and I think that it's best to avoid traveling in the direction of the equator. More south = more hot, remember. It's hot enough here all summer, and in winter, when I finally get the sweet respite of cold air being shipped down from Canada, it would be downright rude to decamp for the Sunshine State and miss out.

The crazy thing is, he has a FLA driver's license

And then there are the alligators and crocodiles who reside there. Up north, here, dinosaur descendants are not seen in the ponds or crossing the highway.

But now comes word that the mighty Disney Corporation is trying to brush some troubles away, and they won't be the first commercial venture to find out that a simple memo posted on the employee bulletin board just won't get it done.

A young lady named Shannon Sullivan, a summer intern at the Trappiest Place On Earth, spotted a memo the other day that advised people who work there ("cast" members) not to tell people who spend their time and money there ("guests") the solid facts about the presence of malevolent green members of the Crocodylian and Alligatoridae families in and around the Mouse House.

The sign said that if anyone asks about there being alligators in the water around the Magic Kingdom's Tom Sawyer Island, the correct answer is: " 'Not that we know of, but if we see one, we will call Pest Management to have them removed.' Please do not say that we have seen them before."

"I was very offended by it and I was pretty vocal about it," said Sullivan, who has a brother the same age as the little fellow who was killed by an alligator last month at the Seven Seas Lagoon.  So, she tweeted out a picture of the sign, and the next thing she knew, Disney Security was escorting her out of the park and back to the real world.

And then Disney took the sign down.  And then Magic Kingdom Vice President Dan Cockerell showed up at Sullivan's house to offer her job back until the internship ends later this month.  

Disney repeated that it tells "cast members" to admit that gators and crocs can be present on the grounds, and that all people who see them waiting in line for the Misty Mountain Hop ride should notify security. 

It also came out that firefighters in the area were warned repeatedly to stop feeding alligators in the lake, after repeated complaints from dispatchers who were tired of being chased across their parking lot by the real life Tick-Tock.

Places that have appeal to me as tourist destinations include the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, Graceland, and the Grand Ole Opry.  None of these places would seem to need a sign saying that the management doesn't want guests to be afraid while simply walking around the joint.

But, if you're into Disney, enjoy it!  Just keep your eyes open.