So help me, Hanna

Everything used to be so consarned sexist, it wasn't even funny. No one even thought it odd that all the hurricanes back in the day carried female names only.

AS IF men never destroyed anything.  

So here comes a story saying that researchers at the University of Illinois figured out why more people tend to die in hurricanes named after women, now that we alternate male/female monikers right down the line.  They say that people don't take storms as seriously when the hurricane has a girl's name.

Yes, fellow citizens of yours and mine, right here in these United States, hear that Hurricane Gladys is on the way, and don't figure it to be much of a bother.  Hurricane Elmer, now that would be good reason to run to Home Depot and stock up on plywood.

The story goes on to point out that the figures might be a tad skewed, since ALL of yesteryear's hurricanes had feminine names. Still, you have to wonder if people could really be so haphazard as to figure that a storm named Stormy wouldn't be as bad as one named Kenny. 

Now that hurricane season is here, I will have my annual time of wondering why people who live in places like Florida would not already have a supply of plywood, plastic sheeting, bottled water and batteries handy at all times.  But then again, every time it snows up here, you can't even get on the Home Depot parking lot for all the people who up until that minute did not own a snow shovel.

Hannah Storm

For your planning purposes (and child-naming purposes), here is the chart for hurricane names for this year.  I'm still not on it, although 'Marco' will come close.  That's a storm like me, but with a Spanish accent.  And my sister's grandchildren call her Nana, so keep an eye on that one!  And I assume that if Tropical Storm Hanna develops, it will be covered on ESPN, with Hannah Storm as lead reporter.

2014 Atlantic Storm Names

Arthur 

Bertha

Cristobal

Dolly

Edouard

Fay

Gonzalo

Hanna

Isaias

Josephine

Kyle

Laura

Marco

Nana

Omar

Paulette

Rene

Sally

Teddy

Vicky

Wilfred

Before anyone asks, no, there are no dates established for these storms.  They will arrive as nature intends.  Keep an eye on your local meteorologist.  You know what I mean.