So they asked me if I had seen "The Mosquito Coast," in which Harrison Ford, River Phoenix, and Helen Mirren portrayed a family that moves to Central America, and that's where you lose me.
I am not interested in anything to do with mosquitoes. This time of year, when those nasty little stingers lurk around every blade of grass and every breeze, I stay inside, or covered head-to-toe after sunset, because mosquitoes love biting me like I like biting anchovy pizza, and that's a lot.
Fun fact: The Greek name for the mosquito is "anopheles," which means “good for nothing.”
That reminds me of Antisthenes, a remarkably dour Greek philosopher who lived from 446 to 366 BC and was a leading Cynic. On the other hand, his brother, Prosthenes, was always cheery and positive. He is known to have told Pythagoras that he was taking the right angle with his theorem, and consulted with Isoceles to perfect the three-sided polygon.
There was more to learn about mosquitoes, including this: Adult mosquitoes live for about 2 to 4 weeks, unless they land on my kitchen table, which curtails their lifespan drastically.
Female mosquitoes live longer than males, due to their habit of staying away from my kitchen.
Only female mosquitoes bite people (or animals, if no one is home) to get a blood meal. Female mosquitoes need a meal of my blood to produce eggs, although the price of those eggs has recently fallen by some 400%.
Male mosquitoes do not bite! They spend their time eating nectar and fruit juice, and lack the mouthparts necessary to bite. At least, that's what they tell their wives.
You should see me hauling the trash cans out to the end of the driveway on trash or recycling night, just to avoid the sting. I haven't moved that fast since the day they handed out retirement paperwork.
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