Name, please?

Here we are, it's June, almost July and that means just three months to go until we're raking leaves and falling off ladders, after chasing leaves in the rain gutters.  That's why it was no surprise when I turned on the TV yesterday and saw the King Of Unctuousness, Ron Sherman, the Leaf Guard Guy, whose oily delivery makes the LG ads so mesmerizing.

Sherman's real name is Steve Jumper. In his business, people often assume other names, often to go by an easier handle to carry, or to confuse zealous fans or process servers. There's no truth that Jumper's Hole Rd in scenic Anne Arundel County is named for him, by the way.

And the confusion continues at his family reunions, since his wife's name is Sheila Jumper,  his daughter is Dianna Stockdale, and his son goes by Ron Jumper.

I guess they need those "Hello My Name Is......" tags.

 

But this name confusion starts in Hollywood where Kirk Douglas, the actor with a mighty prognathous jaw, changed his name from Issur Danielovitch. His son, Michael Douglas, of boiled rabbit fame, had claim to his name in show business, so when a young man named Michael John Douglas aspired to a showbiz career, he wound up calling himself Michael Keaton, which came as a relief to talk-show host Mike Douglas, born Michael Delaney Dowd, Jr.

If you’re still with me...there's a college football player named Gideon Lampron, who has the middle name ESPN. That's how you say it, if you find yourself talking to him..."Espenn." His father added that name in the hospital when his wife was still basking with joy after winning the battle to name the boy Gideon in the first place.

That's all I know about names for now, except that I wish my parents had named me Tito, Leon, or McGillicuddy.  They didn't ask, although I was right there in the maternity ward.