Three

 I'll admit it; things confuse the dickens out of me. What have I decided to do about it? I stew on them one at a time, and then I bring them to you, the Court of Special Public Opinion, for a final ruling, which I will then appeal to the US Supreme Court and see if Justice Amy Comey Farrah Fowler will see things my way. Spoiler alert: She never has.

Anyway, what's on my mind?

✅ watching a movie set in a high school, some kids were sitting at a table in the cafeteria discussing the need for a favorable balance of trade or some such, and I notice there's a ketchup squeezie bottle sitting right there. You know, those red plastic bottles (yellow ones hold mustard). I suggest to you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that the writers of this show have not seen inside a high school cafeteria since the days of fender skirts on cars and ankle-length skirts on women. "Hey, tomorrow is Red Shirt Wednesday!" 

✅ every time a "massive storm" "sweeps" across the "heartland," dozens of cars and trucks wind up in piles of fifty or so cars and trucks.  Back East here, people who have lived among the Nebraskans always say, "You guys here always make such a big deal of a couple of feet of snow! Back home, due to being so burly and all, we know how to drive in this!" Well sir, if that's the case, and all these folks are the greatest snow drivers since Santa Claus, how does it come that they have these interstate fifty-car pileups, huh?

And it's not even all that snowy!

✅There may be very good reasons for these questions that torment me until all hours, but why do the television news people all always say "the storm is wreaking havoc on the roads"? And why do they all nod their heads as they are being introduced by the anchor, back home and snug in the studio?

Could they balance it all out in springtime by saying "the 68° temps on this sunny morning are wreaking pleasure on the roads today"?