Slumdog Questionnaire

I like to amuse people who ask me my religion, political affiliation or sign of the Zodiac by saying, "I'm a Philistine." One wonders why all the residents of Philistia were branded as disdainful of the seven lively arts (acting, dancing, painting, singing, instrumental music, storytelling, and making prank phone calls on morning radio shows.) I mean, didn't there have to be one Philistine who would have liked "Waiting for Godot"?

I bring all this up to point out that we rented "Slumdog Millionaire" the other night, and a clearcut majority of 50% of us around this house liked it. The other one lost interest shortly after a kid plunged into a privy pit, and turned instead to reading an article in The New Yorker about the wildlife released in Florida following Hurricane Andrew. I looked up from the magazine, and my concerns about how hard it would be for a python to hop on a Greyhound (bus, that is) and ride up here to establish residence in Baltimore County, often enough to follow the story. You might be the one person in a thousand who has not seen this movie, but I have these thoughts to share, without tipping the thrilling conclusion:

a) if you ever have any notion that life might be better on the Indian subcontinent, rent this movie and be so glad to live in America that you want to run out an bake an apple pie and wave a flag. I'm sure there are tranquil, pleasant parts of India, but this movie doesn't show any, and what you do see just looks horrible. Hot. Crowded. Noisy.

b) I had to wonder if, out in Los Angeles, which is also hot, crowded and noisy, they brutalize people who are just a little too good at knowing the prices of Tappan® Gas Ranges and folding camping trailers on The Price Is Right. Tappan, the leader in kitchen appliances since 1889.

c) How come it's artistic to show poop pits in this movie, and just let one guy drop a deuce in a hardware store in "Jackass," and everybody's up in arms (or something)?

d) where the hell was Regis???